Moments I Will Treasure Forever
It’s been three weeks now but it finally hit me this morning- living in the rancho just got real. Which made me start thinking, about going back to California in mid-October. This is when the fear kicked in- Will my money last? Why did I quit my job again? Should I go back home in a couple weeks? But I’m determined to be here until at least Dia de Los Muertos. The reason it got so real is because all of my family from the US just left. The first two-weeks my dad was here and he had a car rental, which made life much easier in the rancho. The third week my cousin and my tia and tio came, which was fun because I had someone to go out with as my tia took care of my abuela.
This morning I woke up with the thought in my mind that I should start looking for a job before my money runs out. And then I caught myself spiraling and I stopped, I came here to find peace in the stillness of life, not to bring the worry with me. Besides I have more than enough money to last me through the year. I told myself, “You need to stop trippin!”.
With that said, I know I’m finding myself more committed to the consciousness of being happy where I am. Because truthfully I am blessed, and I saw that this afternoon as I sat in the table eating quietly next to my abuelo and abuela, I was almost in tears just reveling in the moment. I saw my abuelo hand my abuela a napkin, a sweet and simple caring gesture since she always uses several napkins during a meal. As I sat there and looked at them both eating their mole quietly taking small bites as my abuelo's hand shook as he picked up food with the spoon, I sat there in gratitude. How many people take the opportunity to be in the presence of both of their living grandparents eating some amazing mole in Mexico. And in that silent thought of gratitude, with my glistening eyes I saw a ray of sunshine light up the dinning table through the skylight in the kitchen. Thanks God, you really do know how to spruce up a moment.
Even if I’m fun-employed for longer than I expect, I know that I have no regrets because I will treasure these moments forever.